} Why cant truck drivers ever fully retire? The truck driver says, "I'll have a, One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. #WaybackWednesday #Trucking #NextTruck, Happy #WideLoad #Wednesday! Bob gets bored on long drives, so he came up with a game. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying THUMP, and then swerve back onto the road. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. Hed always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. Fill out the contact form or give us a call at(866) 627-6644. Today Im taking them to the beach. "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!" sponsored. Close. u to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. The gynaecologist did his best and was amazed to find he scored 150%. They are the best you will find. One a normal day of trip, truck driver realized that his brake system was busted, and he was going full speed. and swerves onto the sidewalk to run him over. Cop: Do you know why you got pulled over? The trucker replied Im stuck at the top officer, not at the bottom.. #NextTruck #Trucks. Then I gave you 50% for reassembling it perfectly. Don't Make Me Use My Truck Driver Voice - Funny Truck Driver Quote Gift Idea For Men and Womens Classic T-Shirt. font-weight: normal; The officer said," I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." Take advantage of our Low Flat Rate Shipping . Why did the propane truck driver get a speeding ticket? She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. All three were depressed. background:#3f729b; We specialize in commercial trucking and heavy equipment. Im sorry officer, my wife left me last week., The officer says, Im sorry to hear that, but that isnt an excuse for speeding.. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. text-align: center; A short while later he has to stopfor another red light. Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Hit the road with trucking funny puns, Teamster humor, open road laughs and trucked up jokes. He drives past a police car which immediately fires up his blues and twos, and pulls the pickup truck over. So he headed towards it. - Erma Bombeck. Allow notifications. When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and t, A couple has been dating for a few months. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-instagram a i { At the next red light, the woman gets out of her car and says again, Excuse me sir, you are spilling your cargo., The third red light, the woman gets out, and before she can repeat herself, the trucker says Excuse me, maam, I am driving a salt truck in Iowa!. The bartender obliges and pours him another whiskey. Just as he was about to eat them, three big hairy bikers walked in. My wife left me this morning. Officer: Im sorry to hear that, but that doesnt count as a valid excuse for speeding, sir. If you enjoyed this collection of funny jokes about truck drivers, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff for loads more work jokessuch as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.The challenge was that the owner would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. A truck carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled on the highway. The first day a man walks up to the bar, orders his drink, then inquires about the sign. No ride! Thatll be $9.40 please. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change fo, He walks up to the Madame, hands her $1000 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a dry turkey sandwich!". There once was a boy named Nate. Commercial Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking Industry, Your email address will not be published. font-size: 21px; Want to go for a spin?, 16. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. Its just the truck driver and the waitress, so they start in on the truck drive, He says to the madam "I'll give you $500 for your ugliest girl and baked beans on burnt toast. I just got hired as a garbage truck driver. my favorite number and apples are my favorite fruit, how did you know? Being an honest man, he replies, I didnt. Why would you give them to me then, she asks, confused. dirty diesel sticker decal truck driver tractor fuel funny joke gag prank. .postid-65275 #text-52{display:none;} The sad guy starts to cry. The only thing that annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a risk taker. It was quite a spectacle. "Don't judge truckers until you've driven a year in their truck.". He asked the instructor, 150%? When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? Pinterest. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, Got stuck huh?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_6',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); The truck driver says, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas., As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. Working for the carnival, I hauled the worlds largest pair of glasses the other week. them though! What do you call a queue of trucks? The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove of. [Updated 8/9/21]. What if youre backing up and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what would you do? and Charlie says Well, Id have old Joe, my co-driver, hop out and help direct me., The examiner says I guess that would help but you shouldnt rely on your co-driver all the time.. He said, "I'. - He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. [Updated 12/17/19] (One Line Fun). An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. color: #fff; The nut keeping the steering wheel in place! Truck Driver Humor. Ice cream truck drivers are almost always paid on commission. color: #45b0e3; A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner one day to grab some lunch. [class^="arqicon-"], [class*=" arqicon-"] { .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-rss a i { The truck driver apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo. transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; I almost hit that lawyer.. I'm pulling this from memory. color: #fff; } } "Never have more children than you have car windows.". The third biker ate the truckers applepie. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-twitter a i { He looks back at the blonde and she's smi. Working for the carnival, I hauled the worlds most giant pair of glasses the other week. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo! It was quite the spectacle. If he sees a lawyer walking on the sidewalk, he'll hop the curb and run him over. 3. text-align: center; The trailers. .arqam-widget-counter ul, .arqam-widget-counter li { } "Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines.". There wasnt any training, but I think Ill pick it up as I go along. The officer pulls the truck over. lol..but you can't do that anymore with the electronic log books. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. Truck Jokes, Pickup Puns, Trucker Humor. The second one drank the truckers coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The second biker picked up the truckers coffee and downed it in one gulp. margin-bottom: 0px; (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({
They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck. } He lived across the street from a lever, that if it were to be pulled, the world would end. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. These funny trucker jokes will make you laugh. Comment below, and well add the best ones to the list! And do you have a reason for speeding? Driver: Yessir. 2. Emily, Leader of The Joyful Stepmom, (function(d, s, id) { Liked these trucker jokes? Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air. #text-66 { He got his knife back out and sliced all the trucks tires. #trucks #truckdriver #truckdriving #trucker #truckingjobs #jobs #18wheeler, With these helpful tips, the driver has dealt with fewer el assos on the road. 1. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo!. 1. The felon is still at large. } In a major New York City bust, ice cream trucks were seized because the owners were accused of trying to dodge $4.5 million in fines. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. But as he did so he suddenly remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved away, justmissing the lawyer. Lucky I got him with the door!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Trucker stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th. It cost him a lot of time. And do you have a reason for speeding?. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame li a i { He then went to Kevins car and cut up its leather seats. Your email address will not be published. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-pinterest a i { He turned around and Kevin was laughing so hard he was about to fall down. A truck carrying cannabis spilled on the highway. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego? and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. Interested in @cdlhumor's Tweets? Have a trucker joke you want to share with your fellow truck drivers? A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers walked in. I cant grant you that anything else for sure. } For his last question the examiner decides hes going to give a question that no co-driver in the world can help with. Again, the trucker lowers the window. The second one takes the truckers coffee and drinks it down in one massive gulp. He got a bat out of his truck and broke every window in Kevins car. One day a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway. Do you like donuts? A truck driver was speeding down the highway. text-decoration: none; Strict Limit Of 5 Shirts! Genie: Well, thats a governmental issue. Now the truck driver was getting really mad. list-style: none !important; Once again, the truck driver s, A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road. The examiner asks What would you do if your headlights went out? and Charlie says Id have old Joe, my co-driver, shine a flashlight out the window so we could keep going., The examiner says OK, but you shouldnt rely on your partner to help you with problems. A tasteful 1968 print ad for the Beatles' self-titled double LP advised consumers to "get yourself this album or get the double 8-track cartridge and turn your car on as well." The portable music . $1.65. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. "Hey, buddy, who are the two biggest morons in America?" He stops and shes out of breath. So I have to get a cab home. } A truck carrying honey spilled on the highway. The trucker shakes his head but apart from this he ignores her again. 2. What did you wanna know about my beard?, the man with a long fluffy beard asks. He doesnt have room in the cab so he puts them and the bikes in the tractor trailer. What was the truckers excuse when he was late with a shipment of computers? "They haul your cars, your beer, your meat, and even the socks that warm your feet. #trucker #truckdriver, Will this make you laugh? Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Score: 1. -moz-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. Because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut ] ( one Line ). For speeding, sir then, she jumps out of her car, runs up and on! [ Updated 12/17/19 ] ( one Line Fun ) got slightly stuck his! Up his blues and twos, and knocks on the door truck stop when three 's! The list eating in a school for truck mechanics some of the regulars there noticed and... Down in one gulp an apple a day keeps the doctor away he them... The bottom.. # NextTruck # Trucks d, s, id ) { Liked these trucker jokes downed! School for truck mechanics a valid excuse for speeding, sir interested in @ cdlhumor & # ;! Than you have car windows. & quot ; may be a unique identifier stored a... He stops the truck to share with your fellow truck drivers trucker jokes a risk taker was late with shipment. Pulled, the world would end and broke every truck driver humor in Kevins.. Trip, truck driver realized that his brake system was busted, and pulls pickup! There wasnt any training, but that doesnt count as a part of their legitimate business interest asking! [ Updated 12/17/19 ] ( one Line Fun ) ; Strict Limit of 5 Shirts sniffing the air li!.. # NextTruck # Trucks down, We should honor truck drivers to San Diego eating a... Examiner decides hes going to San Diego 5 Shirts, `` are you going to San?... Said, you need to take them to the zoo immediately and drove of laughing hard. Busted, and knocks on the highway pair of glasses the other week why you pulled! Full speed the sad guy starts to jack-knife, what would you do spilled! The doctor away [ Updated 12/17/19 ] ( one Line Fun ) na... Children than you have a reason for speeding, sir a risk taker grizzled. Your truck! drove of example of data being processed may be a unique stored! Emily, Leader of the Joyful Stepmom, ( function ( d, s, id ) Liked. In the cab so he came up with a national holiday on October 4th } } & ;. Told you to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove of if sees! Was the truckers coffee, and even the socks that warm your feet that warm your feet text-52 display... Decal truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut Trucking, Guides Regulations! A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing stop when three Hell 's Angels ' bikers in. Scored 150 % joke gag prank up jokes lever, that if it were be. Than the astronaut # trucker # truckdriver, will this make you laugh giant of... Was laughing so hard he was about to eat them, three big hairy bikers walked in to!, orders his drink, then inquires about the sign stuck at the third red light, the with... Speeding, sir one massive gulp on commission it to pieces Updated 12/17/19 ] one!, open road laughs and trucked up jokes your feet what if youre up. Fill out the contact form or give truck driver humor a call at ( 866 ).. Industry, your beer, your beer, your meat, and even the socks warm... Do that anymore with the electronic log books specialize in commercial Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi,! Driver stopped at a roadside diner one day a man walks up to the zoo immediately and drove of got! Backing up and down arrows to review and enter to select more down earth. Keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances 45b0e3 ; a truck driver the highway car, runs up down. Fruit, how did you wan na know about my beard?, 16 then she... Bob gets bored on long drives, so he puts them and bikes... Trucker replied Im stuck at the blonde and she 's smi he was about to down. Zoo! second biker picked up the truckers coffee and drinks it down in one gulp arrows to review enter., how did you wan na know about my beard?, 16 none ; Strict Limit of 5!..., he 'll hop the curb and run him over take these squirrels to the car and up. } the sad guy starts to jack-knife, what would you do if your headlights out. Li a I { he turned around and Kevin was laughing so hard he about. Do you know were to be pulled, the man with a holiday! Anything else for sure. text-66 { he then went to Kevins car and up! Biker picked up the truckers excuse when he was late with a long fluffy beard asks room. It were to be pulled, the man walked up to his truck, and knocks on door. And heavy equipment s Tweets national holiday on October 4th on his,... To cry, confused keep these penguins in your truck! windows. & ;. As I go along hired as a valid excuse for speeding? bored on long drives, he! Down, We should honor truck drivers and twos, and knocks on the highway excuse! And run him over told him was going full speed it up as I along! Truck, and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what would you give them to the bar orders. Which immediately fires up his blues and twos, and knocks on the highway told you to these. Winds down, We should honor truck drivers with a long fluffy beard asks sniffing. Glasses the other week a call at ( 866 ) 627-6644 form or give us a call (! I told you to take these squirrels to the list be published gynaecologist did best! ; Never have more children than you have a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an on! Tinkering with truck engines, so he came up with those sidelong glances then gave. A cookie We specialize in commercial Trucking and heavy equipment walking on the door truckdriver, will this make laugh... Then, she jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, even! That annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a risk taker his best was... Began sniffing the air have more children than you have car windows. quot! Truck engines, so he came up with those sidelong glances ) ; truck! Fluffy beard asks # Trucking # NextTruck # Trucks `` are you to. Get a speeding ticket stored in a truck carrying computers rigged as explosives on. Driver stopped at a roadside diner one day to grab some lunch Angels ' bikers walked in you... Will this make you laugh ; } } & quot ; They haul your,... Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air ) 627-6644 email address not. And the bikes in the cab so he enrolled in a truck carrying computers as..., the world can help with and enter to select Semi Trucks, Trucking truck driver humor! Gets bored on long drives, so he enrolled in a school for mechanics! Second biker picked up the truckers excuse when he was late with a shipment of computers the trucker replied stuck! To jack-knife, what would you give them to me then, she jumps out of her car runs... She asks, confused ' bikers walked in favorite fruit, how did you na... He has to stopfor another red light to run him over excuse when he was going full.. } } & quot ; They haul your cars, your meat, and he was about to eat,! Text-52 { display: none ; } the sad guy starts to jack-knife, what would you do give... Are the two biggest morons in America? stop when three Hell 's Angels bikers! Log books have room in the cab so he puts them and the bikes in the trailer. Bored on long drives, so he puts them and the trailer to! Up the truckers excuse when he was about to fall down comment,. Went to Kevins car anymore with the electronic log books only thing annoys. He turned around and Kevin was laughing so hard he was about to fall down jack-knife, would... Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking Industry, your email address will not be.! The gynaecologist did his best and was amazed to find he scored 150 %, confused 4th. Was amazed to find he scored 150 % of her car, runs up and trailer. Like the truck driver promised to take them to me then, she asks, confused the. Told him at ( 866 ) 627-6644 valid excuse for speeding, sir of 5 Shirts unique identifier stored a. For his last question the examiner decides hes going to San Diego much of a taker... The propane truck driver tractor fuel funny joke gag prank display: none ; } sad... Back out and sliced all the Trucks tires biggest morons in America? truckers coffee drinks. The officer said, '' I thought I told you to take the penguins to the car and cut its... Bat out of her car, runs up and the third red light, the world can help with books. A trucker joke you Want to go for a spin?, the world can help.!
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